Monday, February 6, 2012

Silver lining....

Just need to vent for a minute....pardon me...

I have been so down in the dumps lately!! It's just been awful! I had the best weekend with some of my best friends and still...down in the dumps. REWIND to late last Thursday, Shane called me around's in the AM for him so he didn't think anything of it. So I was thinking it'd be like any other phone call that I have gotten from him. I knew that they were getting close to port in Bahrain and he should be excited about that! They had been on the ship for about 30 days straight!

I could tell something was wrong with him. So I tried to lighten the mood and remind him that Tuesday (tomorrow) the 7th is 2 months down in this deployment! And I still got a Debbie downer response....then he throws in the...yea, 2 months down...and ___ to go!!! (cannot say! gotta keep my sailor safe!) And well lets just say it isn't the same date as I expected! It's actually about 2+ months more than expected! My first response is ANGER! I was soo mad! At first I was mad at him for the way he told me then I was just mad period at what was going on!! Why?? Why do you need my husband?!? Why does his ship, out of 100s of other ships, need to stay in that area longer??? It just doesn't make sense!!! I hate that you cannot depend on our own military...I hate that I cannot plan a "surprise getaway" for him and I once he gets home bc I do not have a stable date....I hate that I cannot simply buy a flight back to California before he gets home bc I don't even know a specific date to go back and I don't want to be stuck out there by myself for too long before he returns....UGH!!!!

He is my husband and I want him with me!! I want to have a for sure date to countdown to! I want to hug him/feel him next to me/have dinner with him/I even want him with me to annoy me and me do the same to him! haha! He is my best friend!!!

Shane warned me of this! He told me that they would more than likely be extended...but my thought on an extension was, "ok...2 more weeks, I can do this!" Not 2 more months!

After my yelling spree and getting upset with him, there was no way that I could fall right to I tossed and turned all night. I felt terrible for getting mad at him! He doesn't want to be on that ship! So why am I getting upset with him! Oh terrible me!!!

He called me the next night to check on me and talk to me a little more about this extension. And he reassured me...that this year was going to be great! Even though they are extended for 2+ months, they will change the deployment schedule for the rest of the year! And we just able to have a Christmas together this year! AHHHHH!!! I want to be excited! But at the same time I'm scared to! Scared to death to plan on something then it change!

As for now, I am planning on being able to be with my husband for our first Christmas together in 3 years!!! YAY!!! Our first since being married! So there is my silver lining and me being positive about this sucky situation!
I know that the Lord has something planned for us! And I pray it involves Shane and Mackenzie McKay enjoying a lot of time together this year! Once my love returns home to me!

If you will just keep my husband and the other sailors in your thoughts and prayers as they have to stick out this deployment without their friends and family by there sides! Pray for safety bc they are in a very scary area right now!

Oh yea! After this rough weekend, I got to Skype with my love for about an hour yesterday!! Which made my day!! Made my month/YEAR so far! I haven't seen him in soo long!!
My precious husband!!! MAN OH MAN!! I miss him!! So close yet so far AWAY!! ahh!

While he was in Bahrain we were able to chat a little through Viber and he sent me a few pics of him and some places they went to....This is where he stayed while off the ship! SOO JEALOUS!! And soo happy for him! He is able to see the world!! But I know he misses his favorite traveling buddy! lol.
He said it was cold, so I'm not too jealous of the chilly weather but that view is beautiful!

I am so thankful for such an awesome husband! I'm so proud of him!

Him waiting on me to get home so we could have a skype date!! :)
I cannot wait to be able to hug this boy again! You mean soo much to me Shane McKay!! Stay safe and hurry home to me!!!

While I am home, I am soaking up all this time that I get to spend with this sweet girl!!

One of my favorite pics of us!!
I hold her near and dear to my heart!!
Thank you Kyleigh for making Aunt Kenzie's time at home a little easier!!
Love love love you!